Hard Places

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Faith, hard places, life, Prayer, purpose, spirituality, truth

The year 2017 was particularly difficult for me. I had gone through some difficult moments where I had found myself curled up in a ball sobbing, why me and why this again. I’ve had moments of feeling that my life is completely out of my control and I had literally no idea what to expect from one moment to the next.

And it is absolutely 100% true, life is that crazy, none of us know with certainty what to honestly expect from one year to the next, from one month to the next, from one day to the next from one minute to the next yet the reality of that fact does not cross our mind, we take everything for granted, every single day.  But the reality is anything can happen to anyone at anytime. Most of us if we’re lucky our life is basic and routine for many many years, nothing major happens and then we die. For some people that is their life or at least it would seem that way from the outside looking in.

But, any one of us can be one phone call away, one car ride away, one doctor visit away, one email away, one conversation away, one outing away from a life changing event and that is a very scary thought. It’s also a thought that can make one feel absolutely helpless in the middle of circumstances and absolutely hopeless about their future when something totally unexpected and tragic hits you out of seemingly nowhere.

The kind of tragic thing that knocks you off your feet and leaves you weak and gasping for air, you know, hard places. And if you’ve already been knocked off your feet gasping for air and then they kick you when you’re down, then welcome to my 2017.

Was I the only one who had a rough 2017? Probably not, so this post is for all of us. When I came to grips with the fact that everything is completely beyond my control and I am literally at the mercy of this world here’s what I discovered; God is in hard places even and especially places you didn’t expect to find him.

Genesis 28:16  New American Standard Bible (NASB)
¹⁶ “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.”

A very good friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful baby boy recently only to find out he will be a special needs child. I was shocked at the news and immediately saddened, but you know what I told her, “God don’t make no mistakes.”  That child was created just for her to fit into her life to fill a space and provide beauty and lessons and light that only that baby boy can. We may not like a lot of the things that happen in our lives but if we pay attention, listen and most importantly embrace it, its been given to us for a unique and higher purpose.

The same it is with my 2017. We (meaning me) spend a lot of time running from our circumstances trying to fix  them immediately when instead we should embrace them and spend time to look around to see the purpose behind what we are experiencing. Life is not rainbows, and butterflies and sunshine for all of us besides there’s a lot of things rainbows, and butterflies and sunshine cannot teach us. Life is tough sometimes and the skills of determination, perseverance and resourcefulness that we need to be successful in life are most often forged in the fires of these totally unexpected and tragic situations.

What I’ve experienced in 2017 has changed me.  Its changed the way I do things, the way I think, its changed me! Sometimes hard places can bring us to good places of change if we let them. 2017 is over, we are now well into 2018 and my saga continues.

So if you are in a hard place, you are not alone, i’m with you but more importantly God the creator of the universe who loves you with an everlasting love is with you and keeping that knowledge in the forefront of your mind while you are in your hard place will make all the difference.

On this Resurrection Day, just as Christ has risen, let us rise too, let’s overcome even and especially in these hard places.

Relatable Song: Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells

 

 

 

Purpose

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dreams, Faith, God, helping people, Jesus, life, Lists, people, Prayer, Psalms, purpose, religion, Self Improvement, Sidewalk Prophets, spirituality, truth, writing

 

As 2016 comes to a close and 2017 is quickly approaching I pause to reflect on what was, what is, and what I hope is to come…I write a list of what I want to accomplish during the year 2017. I didn’t do this in 2015 in preparation for 2016, or did I…I might have but this time feels different, more purposeful. 2016 had unexpected painful moments of loss and frustration but there were also surprisingly pleasant moments that were better than I could have ever hoped for, but isn’t that what every year consists of?

As 2016 is coming to a close I am deciding that I want to live life more on purpose and with purpose because I am becoming increasingly aware of how short and fragile life can be. As I strive for that goal, I struggle to determine what that should look like for me. Could one’s purpose be something so simple as “to help people”? Could one’s life purpose be that vague? That general? I have always felt like one’s purpose was something unique, direct and specific. I feel like “help people” is what I’ve done my whole life, sometimes willingly with pleasure and sometimes overwhelmingly and with resentment but that has been my whole life, helping others. People like me, they confide in me, they ask me for sound advice. Meanwhile I don’t trust anyone (but God!), yes I have friends and family but I dare not confide in anyone about anything for fear of being judged, ridiculed, misunderstood, whatever is going on with me, I suffer silently, tears streaming down my face while laying in the dark and I try mostly to figure it out on my own (and with much prayer). Yet everyone everywhere I go sees me as a leader, I don’t set out to do this, it just happens. It’s like I have an invisible banner that everyone can see but me. So I mostly spend my time trying to live up to this role because I realize that I am talented in some ways that people need and so always, every time I can, I help.

I’m at a great place now in my career where I feel settled and I have never ever felt settled I have always been looking for the next best thing. But now, in this season, work is good, it pays the bills well, but I know that’s not all I’m here for, this cannot be all there is, I have to identify and pursue my real purpose, my real passion, my real reason for living and I intent to start in 2017.  I want to do more, give more, be more, so for 2017 I’m chasing purpose. Cliché, yeah kinda, but it’s true for me right now.

What are YOU doing in 2017? We ALL have a purpose, what’s yours? I know that life is busy. We all have a lot going on, a variety of demands tugging at each of us all the time. But what kind of life are we living if we do not enjoy it, if we are not fulfilling our purpose? So as 2016 comes to a close and 2017 is quickly approaching I encourage everyone to put some thought into it, into your life and how you want to live it, because this life, your life -it will be over for all of us before we know it.

Psalm 138:8
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Relatable Song: Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets

The Best Writing

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deepest darkest secrets, good writing., honesty, pain, truth, vulnerability, writing

My best writing comes from my deepest, darkest, most painful experiences.  From having gone through something fierce and arriving on the other side of it.  The real pain and emotions of what I am feeling, flowing out onto paper.  Some things you never forget. Some things change your life forever.  Yet, even when the pain is old, I can still recall it fresh in all it’s honesty and vulnerability, that transparency… that’s what makes it good!
Ms. Meraki