My life is changing. I think I’m growing up or something. About time, in a sense. Even though I aspire to be forever young I am starting to mature in some ways and at my age I should be. It is no surprise to me that I’m not perfect, we all know no one is perfect. However, what I am actually realizing is that there are some aspects of me that I need to change for the benefit of myself and everyone around me that for a long time I actually didn’t think warranted change. One of my main goals this year is self-improvements so here we go!
The main change I feel that I need to make first and right now is my relationship with Anger. Yes, I am one of those. Now I don’t think that I need anger management, I haven’t busted the windows out of anyone’s car, I haven’t smashed dishes or punched walls or anything like that, when I get angry my weapon is my words (makes sense I’m a writer). The point is I always felt entitled to my anger because in my mind it’s an authentic feeling, if something or someone pisses me off am I not allowed to demonstrate that I am mad?! Not to mention I’m not the only one like this, I get my fiery anger from my dad and my older brother shares this trait too, if you make them mad you will hear about it verbally. So to me in my mind, my reactions are normal.
Lately I’m becoming more aware of it and I’m starting to feel that maybe this anger is not necessarily a good thing. I’m also reading a few books now for growth and improvement purposes and these may be impacting this decision as well indirectly. So I decided to look at why I get angry to see if I can get to the bottom of this and overcome it. I think that the reason for my anger stems from my desire to have control. I’m a very structured and organized individual by nature, that’s just how I am and how I live my life, I am not controlling by any means but I do like when things go according to plan, my plan. There are times when things do not go according to my plan and quite honestly it can make me furious especially when it is due to someone else’s doing. I take time to meticulously plan my day and my life, why can’t others do the same instead of imposing their lack of planning or thoughtlessness on me and wreaking havoc in my life. This is how I think.
Fortunately or unfortunately the world, my world, is filled with friends, family and strangers alike who all at some point interact with me in a way that goes contrary to the plan that I had for my day. Most times I handle it in stride and it doesn’t bother me at all and some days I get pretty angry about it especially if it causes an unexpected inconvenience to me in any way, shape or form.
I am realizing that it is in my best interest to be more flexible in everything and make more efforts to control my temper. Life always comes at you with some crazy plot twist so I should just accept that this is how it is and embrace it because resistance is certainly futile with this. So I’m working on letting go of wanting to control circumstances around me based on how I expected things to go in my mind and embracing a new mindset. I’m trying to go with the flow to some degree, it’s very freeing.
For the people who know me best, my fiery angry side is no secret to them and has been a part of me from ever since I can remember. So this is now a new part of my journey to be less angry and more accommodating, period. I also came across something on Pinterest (you know that awesome black hole of endless information that eats up so much of our time) that really spoke to me. It was very specific and came directly from Philippians 1:27. It stopped me in my tracks and made me realize that my actions as a Christian are always being watched by everyone around me and also by God. So, that challenged me even more to conduct myself better, no matter what. Challenge Accepted!
So these days I aspire to be better, I will never be perfect, no one will, but I do aspire to be better one step at a time and one day at a time. Yes, there will be days that I fail, frankly I failed this morning stuck in traffic on my way to work, did I mention that I am also impatient at times which doesn’t help my anger any at all. But even when I fail, I will keep trying, that’s the new plan. Instead of giving into anger I want to exhibit the fruits of the spirit and have better control of my thoughts and my actions regardless of what is happening around me.
Maybe anger isn’t an issue for you, and if not good for you! Anger is bad for you mentally, physically emotionally and spiritually. However, if you are prone to anger issues see if you can get to the bottom of why, there are a whole variety of reasons for why one is angry. And maybe you’re not angry but maybe you are something else that is also not good for you or those around you…jealous, bitter, a complainer, a procrastinator, makes repeated bad decisions, …I don’t know your issue, but everybody has something, as stated earlier no one is perfect. Whatever your issue is, why not decide to change it? Changing this will only make you better and who doesn’t want to be better. Change is hard, but with God all things are possible, so you go ahead and make the necessary efforts and then just trust God to help you make the changes you need to in your life. He is in the transformation business and he will complete the work in you that he has begun, you need only believe that it is possible, do your best and trust God to do the rest.
Prayer for God’s help with changing:
” Heavenly Father, I need to make some changes in my life. I seem to be constantly struggling with (insert your issue here) and it is affecting me and those around me negatively. I want to do better, I want to be better, please help me, equip me, guide me and lead me. I know that with God all things are possible and so I am praying to you and trusting you to help me to make the necessary positive changes in my life. Please free me from anyone or anything that will hinder me from making these positive changes. Empower me and strengthen me to think better, do better and be better. Thank you for being with me and for me, thank you for helping me as I aspire to accomplish these positive changes in my life for my betterment and the benefit of those around me, in Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.”
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Relatable song (click link below to listen):
Shoulders by King and Country
Philippians 4:1321st Century King James Version (KJ21)
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.